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Part 9 – Coming Home
After spending 10 weeks in the Royal Bolton Neonatal Unit, we were told that my son would finally be able to come home. There aren’t enough words to describe the overwhelming feelings that are experienced when you hear this as a parent. It’s a mixture of shock, pure joy, anxiety and unbelievable relief. Following this burst of emotion, my mind went into over-drive. We had everything prepared for his arrival but was it perfect? Was it safe? Could we do this? Bruce had lived for 10 weeks surrounded by a huge team of doctors and nurses. Every time his monitors had beeped, they were there. Now that responsibility lay with…
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Part 8 – Hospital Stay Over
After spending so much time in the neonatal unit, I felt that I knew some of the staff like they were members of my family. Every single individual had so much passion for what they did. I learnt that quite a few started in their roles after experiencing the same thing I was. Some had spent weeks in the neonatal unit as a parent. Some had supported friends or family going through their neonatal journey. Some had lost a child. Though I knew that Bruce was in such safe hands, it didn’t stop me missing him. Every minute spent away from the hospital carried some pain and the guilt that…
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Part 6 – The Merging Weeks in Neonatal
On 21st August 2012, I was discharged from hospital. Still heavily medicated, with daily hospital check ups needed, but I was getting there. This should have been a happy time, I was in my own home, away from noisy wards and the 6 hourly blood tests (3am was one of my regular slots). That wasn’t the case though. Going home meant that I was no longer in the same building as my little boy. The distance felt painful. The first few days were a blur. To get through, I set myself the same routine everyday, mainly to try and stop myself from feeling lost. Things were still difficult though. I…
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Part 4 – My First Touch
At 9.12pm on Monday 13th August 2012, I became a mum. There’s no feeling quite like it. All I wanted to do was hold my boy; to comfort him and tell him how much I loved him. I couldn’t. I lay awake all night thinking about him. After surgery I’d been taken straight to the High Dependency Unit, whilst Bruce was taken to the Neonatal Unit. He was placed on a ventilator within minutes of being born and now lay in a special incubator. Each hour that I lay awake felt like a whole day. I couldn’t sleep, and didn’t sleep, all night. I couldn’t shake the thought of my…
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Part 2 – The Day Everything Changed
I arrived at the Royal Bolton Hospital around 11am. I’d driven myself there, as all round, I felt pretty much ok. Something was niggling at the back of my mind though. So after parking up, I took a video of where my car was. In my mind, this was just in case I needed to stay overnight and my John (my husband), needed to take my car home. I made my way straight to the maternity unit for my ‘further tests’. I sat in a small waiting room with 4 other ladies. First, was the pee test. Now normally this would be a breeze for any lady at the end…
